Recent update
- Lingering Darkness
- I Believe……
- Gas Price
- emboding time
- Closed Door
- Burning Truth
- I used to be….but now….
- Breaking Entry1: Watery Ash
Lingering Darkness
May 22nd, 2008 by nickcw
Breathe so does it breath.
Its sprits are haunted and corrupt.
Skulking, hiding deep below the surface, festering in our sorrow we feel as the days roll by and the years were thin.
We can’t rid ourselves of this evil like a common plague.
It can’t just be torn away like a sucking leech.
For it does not rest on the outside of you.
But hides in your laughs.
Roars in your joy you feel as your life lives on past the years.
Sleeps when you are sleeping within your soft bed for it is in and under it.
Comes where you hunger for more then your share.
Cheers in your or others despair.
Darkness is not something that is neither an item nor a trinket for you to share.
For it are you.
You are the darkness.
You are the monster under your bed.
The beast in the closet that hides in the dark until the night, the things that make dreams such a fright.
The darkness is you.
The darkness is the soul.
The darkness is human.
The darkness is old.
The darkness is the light of the night.
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I Believe……
May 16th, 2008 by nickcw
I believe in….you are who you choice to be
I believe that no man or women is judge by there race for not of the out fit they where or the conduct of there character but the being on which they are born. No human is judge by the clothes they where, be it big enough for them to live in or how as tight as the skin they live by. Not by the books they ready or the people they talk to. Not how there voice sounds or the looks of there face out of question. I believe that we are not labeled by birth to act a certain way or to act according by our friends, mothers, or fathers but that how we choice to be raised and how we live with the decision we make not by that of others. We are who we choice to be, we are who we wish to be but we are not labeled to be “black” or “white” such things in the human language doesn’t exists in humanly thinking but that of ignorance.
The words of “You act to black” or “You act like a white boy” only the songs and preachers of those who walk down the road of ignorance and false minds that seem to only be fueled by there own ideals. We are not more then humans with the different shade of the same color.No one is to “white” or to “black” such words are only characterizing the fact of ones own issues with ones self. You are what you choice to be and you are what you wish to be and it is what I believe. I believe that we are born not to be labeled and compacted like items or trinkets but to grow and learn from others and all those around the world. To understand and to learn is not that of “being likes a white boy” that is the word of media and corporate lies shoved down your throat. Maybe when a crime is committed and the darker side of jokes those stay into the fields of prejudice with the words “Hey foe act like a nigga” is only the tongue of stupidity and ignorance that does not let one be who he or she choices to be cause of the pressure that is befallen upon him or her. I believe that they are no white and no black that makes choices but that of Caucasian and African or Mexican and Asian.
I believe we are not ruled and govern by the actions of our ancestors or the color of out skin but the meaning of our character and this I do believe is what I believe. As stated I believe we are judged by actions and our race should have nothing to do with the actions of our race. Much as the men and women from the south we are labeled as red necks and southern that come to the north should not be bashed or blamed for the faults of there ancestors but should be known by the actions in which they do here and now and should be either praised for the efforts they put into working or harshly judge for there wrongs they commit but not by any means of there none life history this I do believe.
I do believe that we, the human race, are not beings or animals of savage nature to be caged and stray to our own kind and dwell within our own self sorrow for not being what the crowds wants you to be for that you will lose this I do believe but I also believe in learning from the crowd and how one should not be force to act a race “improperly” for I believe that in any race there is no improper way to act a race at all. The only way to improperly act a race, this I do believe, is by not acting the way one wishes to be and that I do believe is how a race is missed used. I do believe.
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Gas Price
May 8th, 2008 by nickcw
Gas prices are steadily going up over the course of which seemed to be just every year but not seems to be going up at scary amount almost every month and what’s next every week, day, second? Ever wonder about why gas started at almost twenty five cents to that of three fifthly just for one pump. Almost like the world wants your money and getting close to robbing you of it. One tank of full gas can eat away at your whole paycheck. I mean who cares about groceries or new clothes your car is much more important to you isn’t. Think about what we all go through on the day to day based regarding the gas amount of cars. Yes I may not appear be going any where with this but think about this cause like everything there could be a message deep within the layers of this just waiting to be revealed to the world just have to look hard enough to know where you are looking.
Maybe we are using to much gas and damaging out earth dramatically and severely hurting it. The government may not be telling us for fear on what we might think or feel about it or may its just the fact the U.S needs more money to fund some sort of project or perhaps taxes aren’t cutting it like they used to back in the old days but who truly knows for sure anymore then you or me. Then again ever had a random cough out of no where and seem to just wonder if you inhaled too much air or pulled something but you did nothing to even provoke that cough? Interesting concept we have here and only a few answers that are less then a small infants hand.
Maybe the increase in gas is not for the war or the taxes or anything regarding war or fighting. Unseen sign that we can’t see cause we seem to arrogant to notice it. Seeing as what we say must be always right and think that the government is corrupt or just miss understood by its actions but either way the gas price may just be a large plot for more money or something much more demanding in the process. Something to think about the next time you drives out to pump gas into your car and paying the staggering toll on the gage. You may end up uncovering more what seems to meet the eye then what it first appears to be.
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emboding time
April 24th, 2008 by nickcw
Time…shallow as water
frickle as fate
fake like destiny
held by strings of a mindless puppet
controlled like a dog on a leash
chained to a wall through my mind
mind shattered and broken
the ender of life
acts to illusions of reactions
pushing deep into a spiral highway of false turns
under a shadows rule
and stealing your domanice
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Closed Door
April 24th, 2008 by nickcw
door wooden on blocks of smaller ones
soo close to the floor
Thick smell of carpet
Holding many termits within it hollow surface
blocking my thoughts
locking away the outside
ding nothing but giving an expression less stare
The towering shadow consuming mine
consuming the soul
losing all the hope
in a void of endless plunder
forcing only to suckle in darkness
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Burning Truth
April 16th, 2008 by nickcw
We all walk in a meadow of sinStrolling alone without cares of another whim
Wonder where our sin will be feed from the lies of those long dead
They die and we wait praying in the night
For a sign of guidance for a glimmer of light
We do not know the crimes we may commit against our selves in this idiotic twit but still we pray for even a small bit Though we all walk
And only some do is just talkWe believe that we are better then most
Trying to hold ourselves higher then those of rivals
Trying to always be better and higher on the top
Thinking we are popular among the fellows who walk the meadows of lies
Listening to there rot and locus of lies
The stitch of this we have grown to tolerate.
No longer holding our heads above but sniffing it well
Light a newly sparked cigarette you may find in a well
Damp and wet but its purpose well The burning crisp of it cancerous smell
Polluting your mind all to well
Them rhythm motions of this poem does tell a tale but that of human malice
This only ends far from wellSide track and going in puns the meadow glosses with glimmering bugs
Toxic and foul to touch and to taste because they made from the waste of the human race
Though humans hold themselves high and with such might they forget the light the once long ago held so tight Soon the burning truth enters your mind
The blind fold of ignorance that once was held over your eyes revels the lights shine in the dis.
The mist of lies and torment are expelled from your mind and scatter across the fields like tigers hunting there prey
You topple over among it all, the hellish meadow you would dare not fall
The malice of flies crawls underneath your skin and your mouth full of worms that capture your tongue.Once a being of tainted possession now a helps prey to be devoured by those who linger in meadow of all.
Near the death of your life, to see the truth for what it is you see a lightOnce lovely and bright you are filled with pride
Walking towards the light approaching it with all your mightRunning faster and faster to the sheering light to only burn down in a menacing strike
Turning to the worms of which your race it you remain in the plain of meadowsAmong the bugs born from your sins and the children born out of those lies.
A family yes but nothing more
Then just blind worms on the floor
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I used to be….but now….
April 3rd, 2008 by nickcw
I used to happy and full of spottiness joy.
I used to be full of pride and heroism.
I used to be good and golden, coated in bronze steel to hold away harm.
I used to be quick and fast; aiding those who called for aid.
I used to be a shining symbol of hope and innocent in the world.
I used to showing the hope of light filling the darkness but now I’m not
The years turn and the sand grows dim
My body grows and my heart shrinks thin
But now my joy and happiness is petrified by medusas stare.
But now my pride is only replace with moral honor and manipulation
But now the golden armor I once held high in now a flesh and bone rotting carcass of those I despise
Once quick to aid I’m now swift and dark, I don’t those I chase I hang there name in the dirt.
But now a once shinning symbol of innocent I became a symbol of lies and malice.
But now I no longer hold the light in darkness; linger in it filth, being infested by the pelage that haunts the earth sadly known as humanity. Cast from the like and loathed in the dark.
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Breaking Entry1: Watery Ash
February 25th, 2008 by nickcw
Watery Ash, Rsen†
Life is a fragile thing that is there and holding you in a warm embrace and then suddenly being snatched away from you in a powerful swift of fate and denial. As if something is pulling the strings and not you. I know such encounters happen all the day and the news does a well good job of things but what really makes it worth while is when you and no one else starts to experience death wrapping around you and about to take away all that you hold near and dear. I experience that first hand when I was young and learning how to swim like all boys do when there fathers or mothers take them to the pool to begin the practice.
It was a late afternoon and we just arrived from church. Our church clothes soiled by the sweat the came from the hot sun. My dad, being open and fun loving as he is, suggested something along the lines of swimming. Being the youngest and haven’t been taught my mother protested against such ordeals. Though, being a man who could charm a snake with a flattering smile and seductive eye lash convinced her other wise. Agreeing, Knowing arguing about it would only lead to my brothers protesting about not going to swim, she gave in reluctantly though from the expression on her face she seemed to be deeply worried about something though what it could be wasn’t clear at the time. Sweat seemed to roll down her and it wasn’t the sun that caused it. We arrived at the apartments shortly after dad’s display of angelic word sword play with my mother. Racing us inside in a childish fashion, placing a bet on who ever is out last has to clean the dishes tonight, though it was his turn. I changed by myself like I always have. Never felt comfortable around people and even my own family along with always being independent. I never like accepting advice from others never did. Mother always said when I was young I would always clean my own plate and clean only my stuff. Never helped anyone if they asked unless I wanted to, though people think that selfish in a bizarre way, she knew I had an odd way of thinking and an even odder way of doing things. Quickly putting on my bathing suit out fit, looking at myself in the bath room mirror; making funny posses as if I had a body built like a god at the ago of ten.
Hearing the rushing patter of foot steps my heart sank. I need to hurry or I am the one left to clean the dishes tonight and we were having jumbo, very sticky stuff. Tighten my swim shorts I rushed out of the bath room accidentally hitting my brother in the head as I headed out only to be neck grabbed by my father who tackled me to the ground noggin me with his large fists. As my head was being tormented by his constant knuckle scrapping he whispered “Today you will learn how to swim, request from mom and one of your brothers will teach you” slapping me in the head for a playful jester. The pain only lasted for a little while before I was up again and being dragged to the pool. The day was setting and my older brother, who spent more time trying to show off to girls then actually pay attention to me, ditched me to talk to some girl who had barley any interest in him. I was use to such treatment and got over it over the years they treated me when I was six. Four years of being left behind to find your way home grows on you and you get an understanding on how things work in the world. Paddling in the three feet end with my mind thinking back to all the times my older brother Brine left to hang with a girl I started to wonder if one will actually like him in the way he likes girls. Which to me at the young age was gross I mean they had cutis.
Well getting out I saw kids playing tag as they ran around the side of the pool. Jumping into the pool to avoid being tag which seemed lots of fun and what made it more interesting was they were may age, right? Getting up I walked over and asked if I could play. At first they didn’t hear me or ignored me and I asked again and they said sure. Hitting me in the shoulder saying I was it. Wincing a little at the pain I rushed after them. They looked my age but ran as fast as my big brother. I was out of breath when I got the first one. Circling around the pool from there pursuit to catch me. My brother talking to that girl who just wanted him to leave her alone and our parents weren’t here yet. Sadly since I was so focused on them and the location of my parents I didn’t notice that the tagged boy whose name is still a mystery tagged me, actually shoving me in the pool by accident he repeatedly said. The shove had a lot of force pushing me into the pool. Now it would have been okay if I was in the shallow end but I wasn’t. I pushed into the deep end and out of panic sunk like a rock. I heard them laugh as they saw me sink. Trying to yell was futile as I sunk.
The water was dark and blurry. My vision being blinded by floating bubbles that left my mouth as I opened it. Closing my mouth quickly to hold in air as the pool got darker around me; the surface looked like dancing portrait with constant ripples in it. The sun looking right down upon me as if waiting for something to happen to me as the world around got darker at my sides. My breath was going thin and I needed air and fast. Telling my self to move but couldn’t. Forcing me upwards towards the surface but it seemed I was being dragged down. Not able to reach the top. I was getting cold, really cold. Dizzy, sleepy, cold, and alone was what I felt as my arms stopped swimming. I was too tired to swim further. My eye’s closed and thus I felt to sleep and sank. Now at this point I should be dead, mouth opens, air goes in and there I die. No that didn’t happen. As I sunk an odd light shined in front of me. Like a like in a blue cloudy liquid. Clouds mixed with the water. Either I was dreaming this something I have yet to figure it out. I seemed to walk towards it. Slowly walk towards it, feeling no longer cold but warm. I got closer towards it I felt hotter like a summer day. Soon fully though the light I found my self out of the water. Alive and swimming with the others kids looking at me as if they saw a ghost.
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